Pissing the World off One Person at a Time

Great Song

Mon, 16 Mar 2009 04:29:10 GMT

So everytime I hear this song I just think it gets better and better. Tonight when I was listening to it, for some odd reason thought it would be really cool to hear Heather sing this song. Not sure why it popped into my head but I am sure you she could rock this song. That is all.

SHINEDOWN LYRICS

"Second Chance"

My eyes are open wide
And by the way, I made it
Through the day
I watched the world outside
By the way, I'm leaving out
Today

I just saw Hayley's comet
She waved
Said why you always running
In place?
Even the man in the
Moon disappeared
Somewhere in the
Stratosphere

[Chorus]
Tell my mother,
Tell my father
I've done the best I can
To make them realise
This is my life
I hope they understand
I'm not angry, I'm just saying...
Sometimes goodbye
Is a second chance

Please don't cry
One tear for me
I'm not afraid of
What I have to say
This is my one and
Only voice
So listen close, it's
Only for today

I just saw Hayley's comet
She waved
Said why you always running
In place?
Even the man in the
Moon disappeared
Somewhere in the
Stratosphere

[Chorus]
Tell my mother,
Tell my father
I've done the best I can
To make them realise
This is my life
I hope they understand
I'm not angry, I'm just saying...
Sometimes goodbye
Is a second chance

Here's my chance
This is my chance

Tell my mother,
Tell my father
I've done the best I can
To make them realise
This is my life
I hope they understand
I'm not angry, I'm just saying...
Sometimes goodbye
Is a second chance

Sometimes goodbye
Is a second chance [x2]

Wed, 17 Sep 2008 20:12:53 GMT

So I have been listening to this band for a little bit now. I really enjoy their music and some of their lyrics just rock. They are called Five Finger Death Punch. Here are a couple of their songs. I am not going to post The Bleeding as most have heard it, if they have heard of FFDP. I really enjoy Never Enough, the lyrics are just plain amazing.

I'm so fed up with everyone around me
(No one seems to care)
I'm just so far gone and nothing's gonna change
(I'll never be the same)

Its always do this, do that,
everything they want to
I don't want to live that way
Every chance they get their always
Pushin me away

Chorus:

Its never enough
No its never enough
No matter what I say

Its never enough
No its never enough
I'll never be what you want me to be

Its all so messed up and no one ever listens
(Everyone's deranged)
I'm just so fucked up and I'm never gonna change
(Wanna lay it all to waste)

Their always say this, say that,
nothing that you want to
I don't want to live that way
Every chance they get their always
Shovin me aside

Chorus

I'm Done

Bridge:

In the end we're all just chalk lines on the concrete
Drawn only to be washed away
For the time that I've been given
I am what I am

I'd rather hate you
For everything you are
Than ever love you
For something you are not

I'd rather you hate me
For everything I am
Than have you love me
For something that I'm not

Its never enough
Its never enough
No matter what I say

Its never enough
No its never enough
No matter who I try to be

Its never enough
No its never enough
No matter how I try to change

Its never enough
Never never enough
I'll never be what you want me to be.

This one is called Death Before Dishonor

To the haters, the takers, the liars, all the vultures and the bottom feeding scum
The FCC, the FBI and every tin god with a badge and a gun
You talk and talk, you preach and bitch but your words don't mean a thing
You get what you give, you give what you get
Just the way it's always been

[Chorus:]
I choose death before dishonor
I'd rather die than live down on my knees
Bury me like a soldier, with my dignity!

[V2:]
You imitate the ostracized, put your head beneath the sand
Your cup it runneth over, must be rough to live so grand
You reap what you sew, you pay what you owe unless you bathe yourself in greed
You rob and you take, your world is fake
There's no honor amongst the thieves

[Chorus:]
I choose death before dishonor
I'd rather die than live down on my knees
Bury me like a soldier, with my dignity!

[Pre-Chorus:]
Fuck!
You're self righteous, self pretentious
Your ways are not for me
You're deluded, so confused
Your world I dominate

[Chorus:]
I choose death before dishonor
I'd rather die than live down on my knees
Bury me like a soldier...

Bury me! (Bury me!)
Bury me! (Bury me!)
Bury me!

With my dignity!

Pain in the ass

Wed, 10 Sep 2008 14:46:42 GMT

So I have always known that I was a pain in the ass, but well now I have literally a lot of pain in my ass. I have had a pilonidal cyst for a very long time. For those who you that don't know what it is, basically liquid leaks and causes a cyst, but really it is a abcess. Now I am not going to go into a full version of what this is because well....I don't want to. But I have not been able to sit without pain for a few days now. I have not been able to sleep worth a darn either since everytime I move it hurts really bad. This is something that is passed down through your parents...my dad had it and I do also.

I talked to my mom about it today, she said that I should talk to a doctor (good thing I work in a hospital) and set up an appointment. Well I decided to do talk to some people that knew about it, and yes I did call the office. This the thing, I would be out of work for 6 weeks, I would be in a lot of pain, which for people that know me, know I can handle pain, and wo't be able to sit till basically it is healed. I wouldnt' be able to change my own gauze which would mean I would have to move back home during this, and well it just seems like a big hassle.
Well I had a lot more written but then realize taht it was way too much detail.

Meme people are doing

Fri, 25 Jul 2008 14:34:08 GMT

1. Add a comment on my blog, leave one memory that you and I had together. It doesn't matter if you knew me a little or a lot, anything you remember!

2. Next, re-post these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. It’s actually pretty funny to see the responses. If you leave a memory about me, I’ll assume you’re playing the game and I’ll come to your blog and leave one about you.

The Dark Knight

Mon, 21 Jul 2008 17:36:39 GMT

Oh my god.....The Dark Knight was freaking amazing. I can not say enough about this movie....anyone want to see a magic trick. Hehe...just wonderful. Heath Ledger wow by far the best Joker ever. He could not have done a better job. Truely was amazing and it will only be shamed if people say he will win the Oscar because he died. A few of my friends said that Christian Bale was the worst actor in this movie. I have to agree with them, it was that he did a bad job (2nd best Batman in my opinion next to Michael Keaton) but just all the othere were that amazing. I can not find a fault with this movie and would put it as the top comic book movie that I have seen. Yes it beats out Iron Man, any X-man movie, any of the Spider-man movies. Just was amazing. I can't say that enough. I would say more about the movie but well some people haven't seen it and I do not want to ruin this movie for them. If they continue down this line I am going to be one happy gamer.

Great Song

Fri, 27 Jun 2008 13:14:20 GMT

Five Finger Death Punch - The Bleeding

I remember when all the games began.
Remember every little lie
and every last goodbye.
Promises you broke, words you choked on
and I never walked away. Its still a mystery to me

Well I'm so empty
I'm better off without you and you're better off without me.
Well you're so UNCLEAN!!
I'm better off without you and YOU'RE BETTER OFF WITHOUT ME!!

THE LYING!!
THE BLEEDING!!
THE SCREAMING!!!
WAS TEARING ME APART!!
THE HATRED!!
DECEIVING!!
THE BLEEDING!!
IT'S OVER!!!

Paint the mirrors black (to forget you)
I still picture your face and the way you used to taste.
Roses in a glass dead and wilted.
To you this all was nothing,
everything to you is nothing

Well you're so filthy...
I'm better off without you and you're better off without me.
Well I'm so UGLY!!
You'rebetter off without me and I'M BETTER OFF WITHOUT!!!

THE LYING!!
THE BLEEDING!!
THE SCREAMING!!
WAS TEARING ME APART!!!
THE HATRED!!
THE BEATINGS!!
DISASTER!!!
IT'S OVER!!

As wicked as you are...you're beautiful to me.
You're the darkest burning star, your MY PERFECT DIESEASE!

THE LYING!!
THE BLEEDING!!
THE SCREAMING!!!
WAS TEARING ME APART!!
THE HATRED!!
THE BEATINGS!!
IT'S OVER!!!
DISASTER!!

Turning 30

Wed, 18 Jun 2008 17:50:19 GMT

SO in two days time I am going to be turning 30. I am kind of torn on it for a couple different reasons. One is man 30 sounds a lot older than 29 and I don't feel that old, and another is I just kind of think back and want to see what I have accomplished. Yes there really has been a crap load that I have done, such as have amazing friends, family, and have met a wide range of people. But I look at others that are my age and they have degrees, married, children and things like that. It does kind of depress me that I am single a little but I do think someone will come along. Sometimes you can just feel these things.

I have been playing WAY TOO MUCH WORLD OF WARCRAFT. I am working on my 4th 70 and well I just get home and play because it is cheaper then going out and spending money I should be saving. But it is all good since I get to play with people that I haven't seen in forever. That is what is keeping me playing I think, if they weren't playing I would have reason to.

This is kind of rambling post due to well I am kind of scattered brained right now lol. OH OH OH, I am a fan of Guardians, I had a freakin blast playing it and hopefully we can get people back in the area soon so we can continue *points at people in the game* But over all since the last post things have been going pretty good. My job does suck but what job doesn't.

So I guess I will stop rambling. Friday night I will be in Galesburg and Saturday I will be in Peoria, if people are interested in hanging feel free to call my cell.

Hehe two funny ones

Wed, 07 May 2008 14:49:36 GMT

Tired of things

Wed, 12 Mar 2008 14:03:26 GMT

So I am really just kind of tired of starting to think things are turning around and then getting kicked in the nuts so hard it makes me feel just empty. I am tired of putting forth effort to try to make things better. It just seems that every time I take a step forward I am kick back down, but this one might have snapped something. I am at work right now and even told the boss I am working with today, "I might work today, I just don't know if I feel like it." Well she understands what is going on and really isn't technically my boss, but is kind of in charge of me....really long story. Well two days ago I applied for an IT job at my job. YESTERDAY, I got a call for them wanting to set up an interview. I was extremely excited because damn I had just put in my application. Well she was asking about me and things, but then asked me about the DML I was on. DML = Decision Making Leave. I am on one for a bull shit reason that in all honesty everyone I talk to says I should take them to court on, but I really don't want to go into it right now. She tells me that I am unable to transfer due to corporate having a rule that they won't take anyone that is on a DML. She said when I am off of my DML to for sure reapply. That is great they seem like they really want me.....now here is the kick in the nuts that broke me. DMLs last 1.5 years.....I have been on it for about 6 months, so that means for one year I can't even apply to jobs in corporate. I am just so frustrated and unsure with how things are. I understand in my past I have done some pretty bad shit and yes Karma can be a bitch, but damn I have been trying to make up for past mistakes for way too long now. Just wish the ball would fall in my court and when I pick it up to run with it, I don't get stopped by some wall that I can't even see to get around. I guess that is it.

Larp fun

Sat, 26 Jan 2008 00:43:41 GMT

Cause this could be fun!

This is an odd meme, but we'll go with it:
Ask a question to any one of my many LARP personas, living or dead.

Characters available for questioning:

Oz - Mad by Night - Brujah -
Nicholas - GBN - Nossie
Punk - GBN - "Brujah"
Johnny - Mad by Night, GBN - Catiff
Dominic Calentry - GBN - "Ventrue".

*Characters clans in quotes means that the clan is what he goes by.

Been feeling like this

Wed, 26 Dec 2007 17:05:49 GMT

Maybe I’m the one
Maybe I’m the one
Who is…
The schizophrenic psycho… yeah…

Maybe I’m the one
Maybe I’m the one
Who is…
The schizophrenic psycho…

She lays down on the fresh lawn
She can make everything magical
But she tied one on big time
And it makes me want to rewind

To back in the days when we were young
When everything was like a loaded gun
Ready to go off in any minute
And you know we’re gonna win again

Yeah you know we’re gonna win again
Yeah you know we’re gonna win again

Maybe I’m the one
Maybe I’m the one
Who is…
The schizophrenic psycho… yeah

Maybe I’m the one
Maybe I’m the one
Who is…
The paranoid flake-oh… yeah

She lays down on the sidewalk
Never very analytical
She is something simply beautiful
Reappear with youth and magical

Back in the days when we were young
When everything was like a loaded gun
Ready to go off in any minute
Yeah you know we’re gonna win again

Maybe I’m the one
Maybe I’m the one
Who is…
The schizophrenic Psycho… yeah

Maybe I’m the one
Maybe I’m the one
Who is…
The paranoid flake-oh… yeah

I’m the one
I’m the one
Who is…
The schizophrenic psycho

I’m the one
I’m the one
Who is…
The schizophrenic psycho

You’re the one
You’re the one
Who is…
The schizophrenic psycho

Back in the days when we were young
When everything was like a loaded gun
Ready to go off in any minute
And you know we’re gonna win again

Maybe I’m the one
Maybe I’m the one
Who is…
The schizophrenic psycho… yeah

Maybe I’m the one
Maybe I’m the one
Who is…
The paranoid flake-oh…

You’re the one
You’re the one
Who is…
The schizophrenic psycho

(Maybe I’m the one
Maybe I’m the one
who is…
Who is the schizophrenic psycho)

You’re the one
You’re the one
Who is…
The schizophrenic psycho

(Maybe I’m the one
Maybe I’m the one
who is…
Who is the schizophrenic psycho)

you’re the one,
you’re the one,
who is the schizophrenic psycho

TrustFlow results for punk_doe

Tue, 18 Dec 2007 15:14:26 GMT

I tried out TrustFlow II for LiveJournal. The following people not on the friends list for punk_doe are close by:

mephisteemo (50 - 100)
nabuchodonosor, trueoswald, metropassenger, gwydionsw, satinalien, electra310, jthemighty, greenblackevil (100 - 150)
koral_neshtu, daedalus74, hermioneatheart, spychick8, vathi, suckmebees, sabrecat, asianvanwilder, zombie_dog (150 - 200)

Created by ciphergoth; hosted by LShift.

TrustFlow II: Who is closest to your friends list?

So I am officially an uncle

Tue, 27 Nov 2007 20:07:10 GMT

My brother's wife had their kid on Sunday night (was hoping to have the same b-day as Zoe :) ), it is a little girl.

Wed, 03 Oct 2007 13:03:51 GMT

If there is someone that you miss dearly, for any reason, post this exact sentence in your journal.

Stolen from Soft

Fri, 14 Sep 2007 13:20:30 GMT

1.
Computer Network Specialist

2.
Office Manager

3.
Telephone Operator

4.
Administrative Assistant

5.
Bookkeeper

6.
Principal

7.
Sales Representative

8.
Physical Education Teacher

9.
Telemarketer

10.
Money Manager

11.
Entrepreneur

Fri, 07 Sep 2007 15:57:28 GMT

Whoever knows pain becomes criticized
from the fire that burned up the skin
I throw a light in my face
a hot cry
open fire!

Bang bang

Whoever knows pain is raised
from the fire that burns in desire
a hard thrust (that gives off sparks) into her womb
a hot cry
open fire!

Bang bang
open fire!

Whoever knows pain is dangerous
from the fire that burns the soul
bang bang
the burned child is dangerous
with fire that separates from the life
a hot cry
bang bang
open fire!

Your happiness
is not my happiness
it is my misery

Bang bang
open fire!

Wed, 25 Jul 2007 18:36:35 GMT

AMY LEE IS FREAKIN SMOKIN HOT!!!!!

That is all, you may now continue with your lives.

Thank you.

Some good news

Fri, 20 Jul 2007 14:16:24 GMT

I talked to my mother yesterday. My little brother (not so little he is 22) went to the doctor yesterday and it seems things are turning around. Last time he went they doctor said he was getting worse, but this time the doctor said that he is 50% better. So that is some good news and it is rare that I put good news on this.

Ranting

Mon, 16 Jul 2007 18:46:23 GMT

Just so you know this is me bitching about what is going on so if you don't want to read it then don't click on the cut.

So I am sick of tired of all the bull shit that is going on in my life. I am tired of being the "nice guy" that everyone can count on but when you need someone there is nobody there to be found. I am sick of trying to get everyone together only to never be called. I am tired of being the guy that you can talk to but not the guy that you can date. I am tired of trying to get ahold of the people to take my tests only to never hear from them. I am just tired in general.

This has been going on for months. On my birth day I found out that there is a chance that my brother has MS and the medicine that he has been taking is not working. I start to think how much crap my brother has had to deal with over and years and just think about wanting to say things that I really shouldn't have said, but guess what that is how i felt at that time. Then when I was talking to someone that I had been there for her....many times, she runs and hides from it becuase she starts to see a side of me that isnt' nice. Yes I have a very ugly side to me. I have a lot of rage that nobody ever sees. I am not the person that 99% of you think I really am. That is the great thing about it, people believe they know me, they think that they have seen every side of Mark. Guess what, there are sides of me that I don't even know anymore becuase I change shit to make others happy. I am tired of being that nice guy all the time. It gives you nothing but shit. I do feel bad for my brother and will do everything I can to help him but I think it is some bullshit that a nice kid like him that has had so many troubles in the past has the possibity of having some brain defect. People bitch and moan that they never see me....that I never get out of the house. You are right, I rarely get out of the house....it is becuase I HAVE NO FUCKING MONEY. I just got done paying off my car but before that I had to barrow money from my parents every month just to make things work.....that pains me to do but now at least I am starting to get things back again. I can't even remember why I started this entry. It had been so long since I wrote on this thing. I personally just want to release all the rage and pain that is inside of me and just get it out, but I realize I can't...there are some people that are put on this earth to take everyone else shit and that is how it is. Who knows this could be becuase I am doing three different people's job this week for the same pay. Maybe it is becuase i haven't LARPED in a while and that was a way for me to get out my frustrations and show a side of me in a way that people didn't think it was me....who knows but I think it is about time for people to start seeing a side of me that is more true.

Music i think that fits.

Fri, 08 Jun 2007 17:17:37 GMT

"Never Too Late"

This world will never be
What I expected
And if I don't belong
Who would have guessed it
I will not leave alone
Everything that I own
To make you feel like it's not too late
It's never too late

Even if I say
It'll be alright
Still I hear you say
You want to end your life
Now and again we try
To just stay alive
Maybe we'll turn it all around
'Cause it's not too late
It's never too late

No one will ever see
This side reflected
And if there's something wrong
Who would have guessed it
And I have left alone
Everything that I own
To make you feel like
It's not too late
It's never too late

Even if I say
It'll be alright
Still I hear you say
You want to end your life
Now and again we try
To just stay alive
Maybe we'll turn it all around
'Cause it's not too late
It's never too late

The world we knew
Won't come back
The time we've lost
Can't get back
The life we had
Won't be ours again

This world will never be
What I expected
And if I don't belong

Even if I say
It'll be alright
Still I hear you say
You want to end your life
Now and again we try
To just stay alive
Maybe we'll turn it all around
'Cause it's not too late
It's never too late
Maybe we'll turn it all around
'Cause it's not too late
It's never too late (It's never too late)
It's not too late
It's never too late

Congrats

Sun, 03 Jun 2007 07:13:24 GMT

Just wanted to say congrats to all the Knox seniors that are graduating. You all rock and should be extremely proud of yourselves.

I get to do this now

Tue, 22 May 2007 13:00:58 GMT

1. I'll respond with something random about you!

2. I'll challenge you to try something new.

3. I'll pick a color that I associate with you.

4. I'll tell you something I like about you.

5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.

6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.

7. I'll ask you something I've always wanted to ask you.

8. If I do this for you, you must post this in your journal.

An update

Wed, 16 May 2007 14:35:39 GMT

So here is an update. I know can you believe it.....sorry I haven't been writing in this but it just seems blah lately.

One really big point is this. I am going to be an Uncle. My brother and his wife are expecting which is pretty cool. I love kids and this one will be spoiled soo much by everyone. Plus he/she will be a Meinders so you know he/she will be cute as all hell ;) lol. I am really excited for my brother and sister-in-law. Plus my mom I think is suffering from empty nest syndrom so this will be good for her also. *smile*

Another cool thing is my roommate from ISU who I haven't seen in a while and really need to wrote me on myspace and told me he proposed to his g/f and he wanted me to be in his wedding as a groomsman. I felt very honored and told him heck yea I would be there for him and sent my congrats. It won't be till next summer but hey it is still pretty cool. So it looks like things for people are going really well.

Things for me have been not bad, of course things can always be better but that is human nature to want things to be better then what you have. I am still looking for a new job but really need to finish my A+ test (damn fear of tests), but I have to finish those two tests by June 30th so I am going to have to get over that fear pretty soon. The big possitive is that my mother called and told me that there is a number of positions in the IT department at Proctor, and I am going to apply for them even if their retirement plan/insurance isn't as good as what I have now. I don't really use the insurance anyways even if I am sick (damn male pride). I have been playing WoW and what not, not playing as much as I used to (at least I think I am not) which is a good thing since I am actually doing physical activities again. Want to try to get into better shape during the summer. Get out and be social, and start hanging out with people again.

The bad is one of my roommates is moving out. Which is going to putting a big strain on my money. He has agreed to pay 1/2 his rent which is cool (even though I could say you have to pay all since you are on the lease) but I don't want to do that to a friend. Don't think we are goin to get another roommate becuase it is just too cramped with 3 people living there. I am really hoping that people will be around this summer. Maybe we should set up a weekend where everyone comes out and we have a big cook out/party or something. I think that would rock.......will have to get that started. See about getting the people that even live out of town and what not. I am really excited for this weekend.....I have a golf outing which the last two years I have been doin with my family so that is exciting and I get to see someone that is one coolest people I know and well he just so damn sexy and cool, and if the person doesn't know that I am talking about him then well too damn bad. lol. So over all I guess I am doing pretty good.

If you want to know anything else that is going on just ask. I know I don't talk to nearly enough of you anymore and I do feel bad for it. Feel free to call me or whatever. Much love to my friends and everyone in general.

Sun, 06 May 2007 14:09:27 GMT

Woot another night of no sleep with going into work at 7:00am.......why do i do this......./sigh

Spiderman 3

Fri, 04 May 2007 11:21:42 GMT

So yea went and saw Spiderman 3 last night at midnight.........not sleeping....now got to go into work for 8 hours.........for the love of GOD i am getting too old for this.

SOMEONE SHOOT ME SO I CAN SLEEP